(Excerpt from Dr. White’s book “Against The Grain, Raising Christ-Focused Children From A to Z”)
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
-Proverbs 22:6
The definition of the word “cultivate” means to try to acquire or develop. What does that look like from the worldview lens? From a worldview lens, sometimes we see an overstimulation as a way to cultivate a talent or a love for a child. We see the following terms: “helicopter parent,” “tiger mom,” or “stage mom.” All of these depict a parent that has taken a love or a talent to the extreme. Instead of helping to truly cultivate something that would be positive, some parents will turn that cultivating process into a negative experience. This can cause a child to dislike being a part of an organized sport or an activity.
When I think of the word “cultivate,” I am reminded that we are called to cultivate a relationship with Christ above all other relationships. It is imperative that our children develop a relationship with Christ separate from our relationship. I hear many times, young people say that they know that they’re saved based on the fact that their parents were saved or their grandparents went to church. The truth is, they’re not saved based on those facts. Each individual, whether it’s an adult or a child, has an individual relationship with Christ that needs to be cultivated.
Allow me to share an analogy. If you think of the analogy of being in a grocery store and there is a lost child running wild in the store; the child is running wild because they are fearful that they have lost their parent, so they begin to scream, “Mom, mom, mom.” Despite the number of children that are running around that store, a mother can hear the voice of her child no matter all other external noises. Their voice may be faint, but a mother can hone in on the intricate details and nuances of that child’s voice unlike any other mother. In fact, there could be a hundred other mothers that go by the name of mom, but your mom knows your voice. The same is exactly true with a relationship with Jesus Christ. When you make a profession of faith to become part of a parent-child relationship unlike any other, God, being your Father, hears your voice. He hears the nuances and intricacies of your voice unlike any other child; as you run aimlessly around the world He hears your unique voice. What a joy to be able to share with your child this concept of cultivating.